FAMILY...

I really love my family. We just got back from our christmas in north carolina Tuesday night, and it was such a great week at home seeing everyone.

While we were there, Clay brought home his "woman";) for us to meet. He proposed to her last night...she said yes :) She is a beautiful person inside and out that loves the Lord, and we couldnt be happier that she is joining our family.

So, when we were driving home Tues night, I was thinking about how blessed I am to have been raised by parents that have instilled such great values in their children. Mom and dad understand that self-worth doesn't come from what you have , what you look like, how you dress or who you know. Things have never impressed my parents...and whatever other people thought or did has never mattered to them. I mean, here are two people that go to Bojangles for date nights and think its special! I love that about them. They could be millionaires, and we would never know...thats just how they are. And because they are that way, they have 4 children that are not high-maintenance or needy or "IMPRESSED" by things or other people...we all understand that our self-worth comes through Christ and not from what we have/dont have or the way we look or dress. And all 4 of us have found spouses that are the same. So, whenever we are all together, its just easy. Everything is real and authentic. We genuinely love and LIKE each other and each others families...we want to be a part of each others lives.

I remember when Jeremy and I were dating, and I brought him home to wilson for the first time to meet my family. He said he instantly felt at home and comfortable. And its because, he never felt pressure to impress...he never felt like he had to prove anything, or that he had to look or act a certain way. No one is "fake" and no one "acts", it is always just authentic and real. Its easy there, and I love that about home. And I love that i was raised that way, because it has made me who i am today and made our family what it is today.

So many people today try to find their worth in what they do, or who they know, what they look like, or things they have etc etc...so, they end up never having a PEACE on the inside. When you are constantly trying to impress, you can never rest...there is no peace. When you get to the point where you really realize, that your worth comes from Christ, and who in the world cares what anybody thinks about you other than Him, then it can be so liberating. Jeremy and I were talking last night about how beauty really comes from the inside. When someone is truly BEAUTIFUL, there is light that shines from their core...there is a strength and a confidence in a person that finds that truth and lives for Christ rather than for men. The world's idea of beauty is so off the mark, and has created a world of people striving to look like someone else, or dress like someone else etc etc...its so sad.

I pray that Jeremy and I can instill those same values my parents instilled in us, in our children. And 35 years from now, when our children are grown, i pray that they are confident in the people they are, that they do not want for anything, and that they know what true beauty really is. I want our children to know that their self-worth comes from Christ and not from what they do or how they look. I want them to be radiant with a beauty that can only come from the inside. And Jeremy and I want our house to feel like a HOME to anyone who ever comes in. A place where you just feel comfortable being you...where you dont feel like you have to take off your shoes, or worry about spilling a drink, and where you can come over in sweaty clothes and not worry about sitting on the couch. A place where you never feel the need to impress or be someone that you arent. And 35 years from now, I hope that Jeremy and I can find the same enjoyment out of a date night at Bojangles that my parents do now. It really is the simple things that make life wonderful.

There is just so much to be thankful for. I feel so blessed to have the parents, brothers and sisters that I have, and so blessed to have a husband that shares my values and a beautiful daughter that is already headstrong :) Jeremy said last night, that we have nothing to want for, and that is so true...God is good!!

Happy 2009!

the TRUTH...

I am a big believer in TRUTH. I believe that TRUST is the foundation of any relationship...without trust, there is no relationship. I believe that HONESTY is an integral part of a person's character...without honesty, there is flawed character and no integrity. But, there are so many people afraid of the truth, afraid of being honest with others and afraid of being honest with themselves. Real honest people are very hard to find. I could write for days on this topic, and will probably have more entries on it in the future.

But, the point i want to make today, is that until you become honest with yourself, you will never be able to be honest with others. And if you arent honest with others, then your life will be filled with relationships that have little substance. I think friendships are so important...solid, real, honest friendships. There is something special about loyal, real friends that you know would do anything for you. I am convinced that those type relationships can't be built without trust.

There are some people that say things-just to fit in, dress certain ways-for acceptance, do certain things-for approval...and at the end of the day, maybe that person has fit in and been accepted and approved by the people they came across on that day, but, really, do they even know who they are or what they stand for or what they believe in?? It is so important to KNOW WHO YOU ARE and be CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF!!!

This blog all stems from something i read today on the topic of truth that got me thinking. i wanted to post it as well as a few of the thoughts that came to my mind when i read it...which i hope gets you thinking as well. If you are one of those people that is always concerned about what someone else is thinking, its time to change!!! Be an individual...be more concerned with your character than your reputation...as the saying goes, your reputation is just what people THINK you are, your character is what you REALLY are!!!

We all need to know the person we are-we have to be honest with ourselves in order to become better people and in order to build TRUE relationships in our lives!!! Be proud of who you are...be confident in the person that God has made you to be!!! I hope you like this-i love it......

It is better to be divided by the TRUTH, than to be united in FALSEHOOD.

It is better to SPEAK the truth that HURTS, and then HEALS, than falsehood that comforts and then KILLS.

It is better to be HATED for telling the truth, than to be LOVED for telling lies.

It is better to stand alone with the truth, than to be WRONG with the MULTITUDE.

It is better to ULTIMATELY succeed with the truth, than TEMPORARILY succeed with a lie.

The truth shall set you FREE and you will truly be free INDEED.

PLEASE READ!!

One of the things that I always had heard was that when you have a child, every time you hear a bad or sad story about another child, it affects you at a different level than it would if you did not have one. You will instantly put yourself in that mothers shoes and your child in that childs shoes. Thats one reason why I am posting the following story. The other is that my beautiful sister and her husband had 2 babies born very prematurely. It was a long road, but by God's grace and mercy, those 2 girls are home, happy and healthy. And I know beyond knowing, that the reason for their life is the prayers that were lifted up on their behalf. Praying matters-praying affects situations. I think too many of us neglect our prayer life, and it is so important. So, the fact that i am now a mother, and also that I have experienced through my sister, the emotions of knowing a baby born THAT prematurely and having no control, only prayers to offer, is why i am posting the following link. And i'm asking every one of you to PLEASE read this story about little kayleigh, and PLEASE PRAY NOW FOR HER HEALTH AND STRENGTH AND LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This precious little baby is meant to live, and God has a purpose for her life--so please spend time praying NOW for her!!! Its urgent that we all lift her up and believe in total health and life for her!!

i will also add this to the blogs i follow, so you can follow the story as well...we cant pray too much for her-so every time you think about her, and her parents-please lift them up in prayer!!

http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

FIFTH ANNIVERSARY

"This is the true measure of love, When we believe that we alone can love, That no one could ever have loved so before us, And that no one will ever love in the same way after us." Goethe

Yesterday was our fifth wedding anniversary. I have written before that I think that we have the best marriage ever. Obviously, at this moment, after only 5 yrs, there are many other couples out there that have longer and stronger marriages. But, I believe that in order to achieve anything in life, you have to see yourself having already achieved it… you should live as you are to be, not as you were and not as you are. So, while today, I know that our marriage is far from the best ever, I do believe that that is where we are headed.

When we met, I was not looking for a relationship, I did not want a relationship, and I had no time for anything other than my team and our season. We met right as my senior season was beginning. The way God brought us together, the circumstances that led us to meet are an absolute miracle. Jeremy and I were talking about that last night. When we talk about the details of our story, it is an obvious testimony to the fact that God’s hand that is always working, even when we don’t know that it is. I am a hard person to get close to, as i dont easily trust or let people in. I know i was a hard girlfriend to have...one of the stories my friends most like to tell is the first time Jeremy drove to surprise me at one of our away games that season. I was SO ANGRY when i saw him!! Most girls would think it was sweet and supportive for a boyfriend to drive hours to see you play, I was furious and said he was stalking me. :) ha...wow

Over the years, Jeremy has given such a great example of love through his patience and selflessness. When we dated, he was so patient. I kicked him out of my apartment every night at 1 in the morning, and made him drive home. At the time, I didn’t know that I would marry him, but I believed that if he was worth keeping around at all, then he wouldn’t complain and would accept my standards. He never complained. When we got engaged, I moved in with my parents in Wilson, he took a job in Raleigh and lived alone in a small one bedroom apt. It was such a frustrating 4 months driving back and forth to see each other, but it was worth it in the end. After we were married, I was presented the opportunity to take a job that I thought I would love. It would force us to move, and force Jeremy to quit a job that he loved. I didn’t ask him to do it, I was going to be content either way, but he wanted to give me the opportunity to pursue something he thought I would enjoy So, he quit his job to let me pursue mine. Soon after, while he was looking for new jobs, he was given the opportunity to have a job that would make a lot of money, but it would force him to be away from home a lot. After much prayer and thought, he turned it down, because, as he said, the money wasn’t worth the time away from me or his future children. And now that we have Riley, there have been times that I have been sleep-deprived and on edge, but Jeremy, over and over again this past year with riley, has made sacrifices to help me without complaining…his selflessness has taught me so much.

So, while i know that we have a long way to go, i feel like i've learned so much already. So, i thought i would write down my top 3 pieces of advice or lessons learned during my dating, engagement, marriage experience with jeremy. i think these lessons could go for any relationship really-whether it be a spouse or with someone else that you really care about. Regardless of how you take them, here they are:

1. TALK-there is nothing too insignificant to talk about. if it is on your spouse's mind or heart, then it should be on yours as well, as the two of you are one. communication-talking and listening-is ESSENTIAL

2. NEVER SWEEP THINGS UNDER THE RUG! this goes along with talking, but pushing an issue aside, does not make the issue go away-even though it may be an easy solution at the time-sweeping things under the rug is a temporary fix for a problem that will eventually expose itself. address every issue as it comes, dont wait and let it fester.

3. MAKE EACH OTHER BETTER! Jer and I have agreed that we will challenge each other and hold each other to a higher standard. Make an agreement to love your spouse enough that you will call them out when they need to be called out. And if you are the one being called out, listen in humility and allow your spouse to help you become a better person. If we arent making each other better, then we arent honoring our marriage.

So, thats my nutshell for my anniversary thoughts!! If you arent married and you are reading this...my advice is this- be PATIENT-dont go looking for love!! And when you find someone, build a foundation first. In my opinion too many marriages fail because of lack of foundation. People fall in lust, not in love, and they mistake that for the real thing. Be cautious, be guarded, and do it the right way...marriage is an amazing and beautiful thing when it is done the right way and built on a solid foundation!!!

MOM QUOTE

My senior year of high school I took an AP English class. It was hands down, the best class i have ever taken. The teacher, Mrs.Proctor, was AWESOME. She actually made me want to read and interested in english stuff. She was just a cool teacher that you never forget.

Anyway, one day, she read a quote. i liked it then, but didnt completely grasp it. Sometimes, for a thing to be understood, it must be lived!! Funny how you can hear something over and over, and while you may think you understand it, you realize one day that you never FULLY did until you experienced it!! But, I have never forgotten that quote, and have thought of it a couple times since Riley was born, because now, it has become real to me. Yesterday, I was sent an email, and this quote was written on the email. It is just awesome, and I think all you moms--and dads--out there will really "get" it and like it....

"MAKING THE DECISION TO HAVE A CHILD IS MOMENTOUS. IT IS TO DECIDE FOREVER TO HAVE YOUR HEART GO WALKING AROUND OUTSIDE OF YOUR BODY."

QUOTES...

I'm a big quotes person. I always have been. I like any little nuggets of truth that might inspire or make you think. So, from time to time, I am going to start posting a few of my favorites. I hope that you see one that you havent ever heard before that might challenge or help you in some way!!


“It’s not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat”


“But from those who seemed to be something—whatever they were, it makes no difference to me; God shows personal favoritism to no man—for those who seemed to be something added nothing to me” Gal 2:6


There’s discipline and there’s self-discipline. Discipline is listening to people tell you what to do, where to be, and how to do something. Self-discipline is knowing that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life; you are the only one who can take yourself to the desired heights.


A person of character finds a special attractiveness in difficulty since it is only by coming to grips with difficulty that he can realize his untapped potentials.

A champion is one who gets up, even when they can't.

True friends don’t coddle your weaknesses, they encourage your strengths.

The more we fear to suffer, the more we need to do so.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RILEY!!

Riley celebrated her FIRST BIRTHDAY last week!!! It was so much fun! So hard to believe that it has been a whole year...where has time gone??

Life has certainly changed, I've slept less this year than any other year of my life, I've been busier, have had less time for myself, had had alot less date-nights and time to hang out with friends, but its been the best and most enjoyable year of my life.

I have learned so much from Riley. I have learned what it means to love so much that it literally hurts you. I have learned what it means when people say that you can mess with me, but dont mess with my children!! Its a different level of emotion when your child is involved...things become more personal quicker. I have learned more patience (still working on that one ;) ). And I have learned how satisfying life can be when its simple....how the little things mean the most. I love watching Riley do something that she's never done before, or watching her dance or clap or seeing the look on her face when she sees something for the first time...those moments are priceless.

I have also fallen in love with Jeremy in a different way, because of Riley. We have always had, i think, a unique relationship. I dont know of anyone in the world that has a better marriage than us--that is not being cocky, its just the way i feel about how strong our relationship is and has been from the begining. We have a solid foundation, are brutally honest with each other, and leave nothing unsaid. He has always been patient with me and has loved me more than I deserve. And when we had riley, we made a commitment that family would always be first. First over career, first over finances, first over material possessions or friends or anything else that might be a distraction. In every decision we make, our family is first. Jeremy leads me with his example...he shows Riley and I every day that we mean more to him than anything else that he has going on in his world. He would stop anything, cancel any appointment, hang up any phone call if we needed him to. He is an amazing daddy, and that makes him an even better husband.

This year has not been EASY, but it has been WONDERFUL in every single way. Riley is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me...to both of us. She is HILARIOUS and outgoing...has never met a stranger, independent, strong physically and also incredibly strong-willed (i'm sure we'll bump heads with each other), her first word was baby, she loves bananas, cheese and big bird, hates broccoli and riding in the car, and likes to walk around with her hat on backwards. I could talk about her all day and would never tire of it. She is PERFECT. She's a little me, and i am MADLY in love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RILEY!!!!

FINISHING

It's not how you start, its how you finish.

I have heard that quote said many times over the past couple of months. We've had a rough year. We have had a very abnormal year. Sub-par, you could say. Overall, just a lot of unexpected loss's and frustration. Definitely not for lack of talent. It's been one of those things that you just can't put your finger on.
Up until last week, it was the worst season in program history. But our coach and leader, remained positive. She continued to fight. She forced this team to continue to fight. To continue to push. Even when it didnt feel good. Even when it didnt feel like one thing would go our way, even when they failed, she forced them to fight. After each loss, we woke up the next day, and started again with a new resolve to make it right, a new resolve to fix whatever it was that was holding us back from all we could be. And yesterday, we won the SEC Championship. So, the season continues. But for all of these girls, this might be the most memorable championship they will ever win. Because no one thought they could do it...because there was so much adversity to fight through and many experienced failures. It didnt come easy...those things worth having never do. The conference season began with 2 losses, had a few more losses thrown in there, but ended in a championship...its not how you start...we finished with the trophy.

I believe this holds true for life as well. So many times we start things, with the best of intentions. Maybe its a new fitness plan or a career goal or even a new or renewed relationship with Christ. Whatever it is, we start and we think that it will go well, because thats how we plan it in our heads. We make plans for it to be easy and go well without considering that it may be hard-it may be very hard. So, when it does get hard...when our workouts in our new "get-fit plan" get harder, or its day 5 of working out and we are tired, we so readily make excuses...create new reasons why we cant follow through. When our relationship with Christ causes us to make decisions that others may not understand, or choices that leave us out of what is "cool" to do...we figure out a way to excuse ourselves and we turn our backs on Him. And what humans tend to do, after they resolve to do something, then fail at that thing, is they tend to beat themselves up...think they weren't made for that, and quit. Because quitting is easier than admitting mistakes, picking up the pieces, and starting again. People quit on themselves so much. And once you quit once, it becomes easier to quit the next time.

So, my challenge is this...don't quit. No matter what it is-dont quit. Realize that its not easy. Know that you arent perfect and that there will be setbacks. There will be times when you feel like a failure and you want to stop...but thats the exact time that you need to fight and push on. If you fail one day, the good news is, God will give you another day. What do you want to do with your life? What are you passionate about? What are your dreams and your goals?? What do you want to improve about yourself?? Whatever it is, make a decision to see it through-to not give up on yourself even when it gets hard and even when you fail. Dont expect failure, but when failure comes, be more eager to push forward again than reconciled to make an excuse and quit. Don't allow losses or temporary setbacks to stop you from being all that you can be. Always remember, that it is not how you start...its starting and continuing despite setbacks...to the finish. Its not about what you say you are going to do, its about WHAT YOU DO!! Dont be a person of words-be one of action. Words are meaningless. Challenge yourself every day, and NEVER quit on anything!!!

Sometimes the hardest things in life, become the most rewarding.

HILAR!

This video is about 20 seconds long. It is well worth the 20 seconds in my opinion :)

pretty funny girl we have...TONS of personality!! if you need a smile, this should do the trick!

costume time!!

I normally dont like halloween so much, but we had fun this year dressing riley up. Jeremy's mom made the costume. I had the idea to have Riley dressed as Beau, and then dress Beau in Riley's clothes. As you can tell from the look on Beau's face, he was not so happy about it :) But, it was absolutely HILAR!! The first time Beau saw Riley in her costume, he jumped and puffed his hair-so funny! Both of them were confused by it all :) Jer and I will keep this costume and continue to put it on her until she can no longer squeeze into it :) Pretty funny stuff!!

jelly man

Riley started clapping today. I am very proud. We've worked hard on this clapping thing. For whatever reason, she just has had no time for it. She started walking at 9 mos, could dribble a soccer ball about 8 yds by 10 months, but by 11 months, still no clapping. Weird kid we have. And today, she started clapping....FINALLY. It is awesome to see and makes me so happy.

James Taylor has a song that I have just learned thanks to the Sesame Street Silly Songs DVD....its called Jelly Man. Riley really likes this song. I actually do too-James Taylor can make any song good...even if it is about jelly and toast. Tonight, Jeremy and I's entertainment was watching Riley clap, while clumsily bending at the knee to dance, all the while bobbing her head from left to right and yelling every time that song came on. We laughed SO HARD!! It makes us laugh even now just thinking about it. Tomorrow, I'm sure I will be going about my day, maybe at practice, and just start laughing out of nowhere, because a vision of her doing that will pop in my head. Its great. She's perfect to me.

Last year, Pre-Riley, we went to a Kenny Chesney/Sugarland concert w/ friends and got the backstage access. It was so fun seeing a huge concert like that from backstage. To be standing on stage with kenny, and looking out at thousands of fans screaming and singing. We loved it and were so happy and thankful that we got to go.

However, Post-Riley, I think Jer and I both agree, that it was more entertaining and fulfilling listening to James Taylors Jelly Man, while watching Riley clap and dance, than it was watching Kenny sing :) We definitely laughed alot more!!!

haha!!

Live Simply and take time to enjoy the little things...Life becomes so much more happy when you do!!!!!!!!

I never thought I would start a blog. Sharing my feelings in a public forum doesnt really fit into my personality. Jeremy has a blog. He's encouraged me that I should start one because I am always throwing out ideas for him to write about. But, I just never thought I would. My friend Ellen always told me i needed to write a book about my life. I think this is the closest i will get to that :)

However, because of some different events that have happened over this past year, I have decided that maybe if I start writing down some of my thoughts, maybe they may help or encourage someone. I have no set "theme" for the blog. Its not about Riley, or our family, or soccer, or my faith, but rather it will be about all of that and then some. I wont tie myself down to some set topic or topics. So, sometimes I may write about Riley, sometimes soccer, sometimes just complete nonsense. And perhaps, maybe after 2 wks, I will decide that this "blog life" is not for me, and then I will just stop. Who knows?!? I am a bit unpredictable like that.

But, the catalyst that got me to start this blog, is my friend mary claire. This past spring, Mary Claire was diagnosed with AML (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia) and passed away 4 days later on April 7,2008. It was very sudden and a complete shock. The kind of thing that stops you dead in your tracks and makes your stomach feel like it has eaten your heart and fallen out of your body. The kind of thing that you think about all the time.

So, Jeremy and I were home this weekend and went out for our once a month date :) Riley was at home w/ my parents, so we had some time to just BE. We went out to dinner and when we walked in, saw Mary Claire's wonderful parents. I had not seen them since Mary Claire passed, and Jeremy had never met them. We talked for about 20 mins, mostly about MC. Before they left, Mrs.Satterly took a wrist band off her wrist that she wanted me to wear…on the band it says W.W.M.C.D...what would mary claire do. It meant the world to me and I'm honored to wear it. But, it got me thinking...what would mary claire do??

The wrist band is a simple reminder that can go one of two ways. First of all, about mary and the person she was.
Mary Claire was a high school friend, but the kind of wonderful and rare person that you could go a year w/out seeing or talking to, but when you saw her, it was like no time had passed. We grew up together, played soccer together, hung out together...she was a special person to me. The kind of person that when she fell down, didnt sit to think about it, but got right back up. The kind of person that I respect a lot. She was a fighter. So, what would she do under any adverse circumstance, well, she would fight. What would she do when things got tough, she would persevere. She wasnt one of those lukewarm, average people that just goes with the flow. She was passionate, and caring, and full of life and energy. The kind of person that lit up a room when she walked in. Mary Claire was special and though her life was brief, it was meaningful and touched so many.

The other way the wrist band gets me thinking is…what would Mary Claire do if she knew she only had a few weeks left to live. What would she do if she had been given a warning, or been told a month in advance that this awful disease was going to steal her life at such an early age??
What would we do? How would our life change?
What if you knew you only had a month left? How would you change your life...how would you change your priorities?

Suddenly, your work doesnt seem as important, and your family seems more important than ever. Maybe you dont flip off a slow driver, but you slow down yourself, turn up the radio and sing your heart out while going 10 mph. Maybe you dont mindlessly watch television for an hour, but you go do something for someone else.

I believe that every time we meet someone, its a chance to impart something. Maybe just a smile, maybe a kind word. But its a chance to make their world a little happier. If we knew our time was limited, how would our brief encounters be with the strangers we meet? How would our relationships with our family and with our friends be different?? What would Mary Claire have done differently if she knew she was going to pass at such an early age?

Two days after Mary Claire died, my grandfather-Boom-passed away. He was a proud, strong-willed and stubborn (I think I can thank him for some of my stubbornness :) ) man. I admire his strength and mentality so much. But he was also very kind and generous. No one knew how generous he was. He was the kind of man that did things anonymously…he never wanted recognition…he never needed recognition. He understood that to give with expecting something back, really isn't giving at all. The night before he died, I told Jeremy that I wanted to call him to check in. I was too tired to do it then, so I said I would call him tomorrow afternoon. The next morning I got the call that he passed away. I will always regret being too tired to call him that night. My respect and love for him runs deep and I miss him all the time. I am sure I will have another blog entry that is entirely about him. He taught me far too much for me to try to squeeze it into a paragraph or two. I could prob write a book about him and the man he was.

I think we all need to be reminded that life is short. That it is easy to get caught up in "life" and forget about "living". And its easy to get priorities mixed up. I am sure that most of us claim that God is our first priority and our family is our 2nd…but how many of us really LIVE like that?? I challenge everyone to put themselves last…to think of others first…to live a life where everyday you wake up thinking, "how can I make someone else's day/life brighter?". Go out of your way to help someone. Show the people you love that you love them. Actions speak much louder than words…show them! Saying you love someone and showing someone that you love them are two different things! Send them a note in the mail, call someone you haven't called in a while but think about often. Don't stop short of doing something for someone else because you are tired and can do it tomorrow.

So, my first official blog, has been inspired by my friend Mary Claire, and my granddaddy-Boom. They both lived lives that impacted so many, and they both have left a piece of themselves that I will always carry. My wristband is going to be a constant reminder to live a life without regrets...to live a life for others and to daily leave a piece of myself with someone else!! I hope this blog inspires you to do the same!!

I may write a again tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe never...but check back just in case :)

for more info about mary claire or to contribute to her foundation, please visit www.mcspirit.org