FAMILY...

I really love my family. We just got back from our christmas in north carolina Tuesday night, and it was such a great week at home seeing everyone.

While we were there, Clay brought home his "woman";) for us to meet. He proposed to her last night...she said yes :) She is a beautiful person inside and out that loves the Lord, and we couldnt be happier that she is joining our family.

So, when we were driving home Tues night, I was thinking about how blessed I am to have been raised by parents that have instilled such great values in their children. Mom and dad understand that self-worth doesn't come from what you have , what you look like, how you dress or who you know. Things have never impressed my parents...and whatever other people thought or did has never mattered to them. I mean, here are two people that go to Bojangles for date nights and think its special! I love that about them. They could be millionaires, and we would never know...thats just how they are. And because they are that way, they have 4 children that are not high-maintenance or needy or "IMPRESSED" by things or other people...we all understand that our self-worth comes through Christ and not from what we have/dont have or the way we look or dress. And all 4 of us have found spouses that are the same. So, whenever we are all together, its just easy. Everything is real and authentic. We genuinely love and LIKE each other and each others families...we want to be a part of each others lives.

I remember when Jeremy and I were dating, and I brought him home to wilson for the first time to meet my family. He said he instantly felt at home and comfortable. And its because, he never felt pressure to impress...he never felt like he had to prove anything, or that he had to look or act a certain way. No one is "fake" and no one "acts", it is always just authentic and real. Its easy there, and I love that about home. And I love that i was raised that way, because it has made me who i am today and made our family what it is today.

So many people today try to find their worth in what they do, or who they know, what they look like, or things they have etc etc...so, they end up never having a PEACE on the inside. When you are constantly trying to impress, you can never rest...there is no peace. When you get to the point where you really realize, that your worth comes from Christ, and who in the world cares what anybody thinks about you other than Him, then it can be so liberating. Jeremy and I were talking last night about how beauty really comes from the inside. When someone is truly BEAUTIFUL, there is light that shines from their core...there is a strength and a confidence in a person that finds that truth and lives for Christ rather than for men. The world's idea of beauty is so off the mark, and has created a world of people striving to look like someone else, or dress like someone else etc etc...its so sad.

I pray that Jeremy and I can instill those same values my parents instilled in us, in our children. And 35 years from now, when our children are grown, i pray that they are confident in the people they are, that they do not want for anything, and that they know what true beauty really is. I want our children to know that their self-worth comes from Christ and not from what they do or how they look. I want them to be radiant with a beauty that can only come from the inside. And Jeremy and I want our house to feel like a HOME to anyone who ever comes in. A place where you just feel comfortable being you...where you dont feel like you have to take off your shoes, or worry about spilling a drink, and where you can come over in sweaty clothes and not worry about sitting on the couch. A place where you never feel the need to impress or be someone that you arent. And 35 years from now, I hope that Jeremy and I can find the same enjoyment out of a date night at Bojangles that my parents do now. It really is the simple things that make life wonderful.

There is just so much to be thankful for. I feel so blessed to have the parents, brothers and sisters that I have, and so blessed to have a husband that shares my values and a beautiful daughter that is already headstrong :) Jeremy said last night, that we have nothing to want for, and that is so true...God is good!!

Happy 2009!

the TRUTH...

I am a big believer in TRUTH. I believe that TRUST is the foundation of any relationship...without trust, there is no relationship. I believe that HONESTY is an integral part of a person's character...without honesty, there is flawed character and no integrity. But, there are so many people afraid of the truth, afraid of being honest with others and afraid of being honest with themselves. Real honest people are very hard to find. I could write for days on this topic, and will probably have more entries on it in the future.

But, the point i want to make today, is that until you become honest with yourself, you will never be able to be honest with others. And if you arent honest with others, then your life will be filled with relationships that have little substance. I think friendships are so important...solid, real, honest friendships. There is something special about loyal, real friends that you know would do anything for you. I am convinced that those type relationships can't be built without trust.

There are some people that say things-just to fit in, dress certain ways-for acceptance, do certain things-for approval...and at the end of the day, maybe that person has fit in and been accepted and approved by the people they came across on that day, but, really, do they even know who they are or what they stand for or what they believe in?? It is so important to KNOW WHO YOU ARE and be CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF!!!

This blog all stems from something i read today on the topic of truth that got me thinking. i wanted to post it as well as a few of the thoughts that came to my mind when i read it...which i hope gets you thinking as well. If you are one of those people that is always concerned about what someone else is thinking, its time to change!!! Be an individual...be more concerned with your character than your reputation...as the saying goes, your reputation is just what people THINK you are, your character is what you REALLY are!!!

We all need to know the person we are-we have to be honest with ourselves in order to become better people and in order to build TRUE relationships in our lives!!! Be proud of who you are...be confident in the person that God has made you to be!!! I hope you like this-i love it......

It is better to be divided by the TRUTH, than to be united in FALSEHOOD.

It is better to SPEAK the truth that HURTS, and then HEALS, than falsehood that comforts and then KILLS.

It is better to be HATED for telling the truth, than to be LOVED for telling lies.

It is better to stand alone with the truth, than to be WRONG with the MULTITUDE.

It is better to ULTIMATELY succeed with the truth, than TEMPORARILY succeed with a lie.

The truth shall set you FREE and you will truly be free INDEED.

PLEASE READ!!

One of the things that I always had heard was that when you have a child, every time you hear a bad or sad story about another child, it affects you at a different level than it would if you did not have one. You will instantly put yourself in that mothers shoes and your child in that childs shoes. Thats one reason why I am posting the following story. The other is that my beautiful sister and her husband had 2 babies born very prematurely. It was a long road, but by God's grace and mercy, those 2 girls are home, happy and healthy. And I know beyond knowing, that the reason for their life is the prayers that were lifted up on their behalf. Praying matters-praying affects situations. I think too many of us neglect our prayer life, and it is so important. So, the fact that i am now a mother, and also that I have experienced through my sister, the emotions of knowing a baby born THAT prematurely and having no control, only prayers to offer, is why i am posting the following link. And i'm asking every one of you to PLEASE read this story about little kayleigh, and PLEASE PRAY NOW FOR HER HEALTH AND STRENGTH AND LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This precious little baby is meant to live, and God has a purpose for her life--so please spend time praying NOW for her!!! Its urgent that we all lift her up and believe in total health and life for her!!

i will also add this to the blogs i follow, so you can follow the story as well...we cant pray too much for her-so every time you think about her, and her parents-please lift them up in prayer!!

http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

FIFTH ANNIVERSARY

"This is the true measure of love, When we believe that we alone can love, That no one could ever have loved so before us, And that no one will ever love in the same way after us." Goethe

Yesterday was our fifth wedding anniversary. I have written before that I think that we have the best marriage ever. Obviously, at this moment, after only 5 yrs, there are many other couples out there that have longer and stronger marriages. But, I believe that in order to achieve anything in life, you have to see yourself having already achieved it… you should live as you are to be, not as you were and not as you are. So, while today, I know that our marriage is far from the best ever, I do believe that that is where we are headed.

When we met, I was not looking for a relationship, I did not want a relationship, and I had no time for anything other than my team and our season. We met right as my senior season was beginning. The way God brought us together, the circumstances that led us to meet are an absolute miracle. Jeremy and I were talking about that last night. When we talk about the details of our story, it is an obvious testimony to the fact that God’s hand that is always working, even when we don’t know that it is. I am a hard person to get close to, as i dont easily trust or let people in. I know i was a hard girlfriend to have...one of the stories my friends most like to tell is the first time Jeremy drove to surprise me at one of our away games that season. I was SO ANGRY when i saw him!! Most girls would think it was sweet and supportive for a boyfriend to drive hours to see you play, I was furious and said he was stalking me. :) ha...wow

Over the years, Jeremy has given such a great example of love through his patience and selflessness. When we dated, he was so patient. I kicked him out of my apartment every night at 1 in the morning, and made him drive home. At the time, I didn’t know that I would marry him, but I believed that if he was worth keeping around at all, then he wouldn’t complain and would accept my standards. He never complained. When we got engaged, I moved in with my parents in Wilson, he took a job in Raleigh and lived alone in a small one bedroom apt. It was such a frustrating 4 months driving back and forth to see each other, but it was worth it in the end. After we were married, I was presented the opportunity to take a job that I thought I would love. It would force us to move, and force Jeremy to quit a job that he loved. I didn’t ask him to do it, I was going to be content either way, but he wanted to give me the opportunity to pursue something he thought I would enjoy So, he quit his job to let me pursue mine. Soon after, while he was looking for new jobs, he was given the opportunity to have a job that would make a lot of money, but it would force him to be away from home a lot. After much prayer and thought, he turned it down, because, as he said, the money wasn’t worth the time away from me or his future children. And now that we have Riley, there have been times that I have been sleep-deprived and on edge, but Jeremy, over and over again this past year with riley, has made sacrifices to help me without complaining…his selflessness has taught me so much.

So, while i know that we have a long way to go, i feel like i've learned so much already. So, i thought i would write down my top 3 pieces of advice or lessons learned during my dating, engagement, marriage experience with jeremy. i think these lessons could go for any relationship really-whether it be a spouse or with someone else that you really care about. Regardless of how you take them, here they are:

1. TALK-there is nothing too insignificant to talk about. if it is on your spouse's mind or heart, then it should be on yours as well, as the two of you are one. communication-talking and listening-is ESSENTIAL

2. NEVER SWEEP THINGS UNDER THE RUG! this goes along with talking, but pushing an issue aside, does not make the issue go away-even though it may be an easy solution at the time-sweeping things under the rug is a temporary fix for a problem that will eventually expose itself. address every issue as it comes, dont wait and let it fester.

3. MAKE EACH OTHER BETTER! Jer and I have agreed that we will challenge each other and hold each other to a higher standard. Make an agreement to love your spouse enough that you will call them out when they need to be called out. And if you are the one being called out, listen in humility and allow your spouse to help you become a better person. If we arent making each other better, then we arent honoring our marriage.

So, thats my nutshell for my anniversary thoughts!! If you arent married and you are reading this...my advice is this- be PATIENT-dont go looking for love!! And when you find someone, build a foundation first. In my opinion too many marriages fail because of lack of foundation. People fall in lust, not in love, and they mistake that for the real thing. Be cautious, be guarded, and do it the right way...marriage is an amazing and beautiful thing when it is done the right way and built on a solid foundation!!!

MOM QUOTE

My senior year of high school I took an AP English class. It was hands down, the best class i have ever taken. The teacher, Mrs.Proctor, was AWESOME. She actually made me want to read and interested in english stuff. She was just a cool teacher that you never forget.

Anyway, one day, she read a quote. i liked it then, but didnt completely grasp it. Sometimes, for a thing to be understood, it must be lived!! Funny how you can hear something over and over, and while you may think you understand it, you realize one day that you never FULLY did until you experienced it!! But, I have never forgotten that quote, and have thought of it a couple times since Riley was born, because now, it has become real to me. Yesterday, I was sent an email, and this quote was written on the email. It is just awesome, and I think all you moms--and dads--out there will really "get" it and like it....

"MAKING THE DECISION TO HAVE A CHILD IS MOMENTOUS. IT IS TO DECIDE FOREVER TO HAVE YOUR HEART GO WALKING AROUND OUTSIDE OF YOUR BODY."